Saturday, April 9, 2011

Why are we so scared to fail?

Many times I ask my self this question… How do I (we) define failure? Well the book definition is “the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success” I say that is bull... From my point if view failure is the formula that elevates us to the next level… it makes us stronger. Nobody gets everything perfect on the first time.

I have made so many mistakes in my life and each and every one of them has made me not only a stronger person but a better one. It’s good to put this into perspective daily. Even though I usually tell people this message, I forget it myself from time to time. These words always make my day to a brighter start... I really believe that “you don't fail if you fall; you fail if you are not scared to fall and by doing so you don't try so you never get up”. “If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived”. It’s a good reminder because as we live our day-to-day life, we tend to forget this very important message.

Our misconception comes from earlier stage in our lives. We have programmed our own brain to think that everyone that succeeds has had nothing but luck all their life and that they had it easy. At the end of the day we can’t blame anyone other that our self’s. The reality is that is all about the learning attitude and experiences… and the formula is easy fall X the times that we get up = success.

The truth is everyone has failed miserably, so what! Failing is a part of life. We all experience it. We’ve all failed, and guess what; we will continue to fail, because we absolutely need it to succeed. Failing is trying. Without trying we never have a shot at succeeding. The reality is that the quicker you can deal with failure, the quicker you are ready for new success… and each time that you fail your success is bigger and better.

Each failure is a building block to success. If we give up in life you will never be able to deal with failure… many of us after one of these events never try again. Nothing can happen without action. Life is all about action and taking risks... some risk we accept some we mitigate... but again is all about the experience.

Also, accepting is not expecting! You should never expect to fail. The ones that expect to fail guess what attract and create their wishes, and they fail. You can be logical and accept that the possibility of failure does exist, but you can be confident in your chances to avoid such failure. This is crucial, as you do not want to become a habitual failure.

Without failure, how sweet would success be? How can success be appreciated, without knowing the opposite feeling? I’m thinking of the closest example of these… over-privileged kids that had everything handed to them. Just knowing that even if you do fail, you will get over it, and that it won’t destroy you is so empowering that simply having that frame of mind increases your chances of success even more.

What to do if you fail? You aren’t going to succeed every time you try something new. While most of us realize this logically, that doesn’t mean we take this truth to our hearts. When we’ve tried really hard to try to get something in our lives, we want to succeed – and when we don’t, it’s disastrous to our self worth and our confidence. But does it have to be? Failure doesn’t have to be a negative when you realize the value of falling down once in a while.

Failure is the best option if you want to win! If we paraphrase Thomas Edison, about the invention of light bulb he said:  “I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work”. Contradictory to what society propaganda say’s. If you never failed, you’d never know what success is and the effect that has in your life!

People who are successful have experienced failure. The difference between “failures” and successful people are that the successful people tried one more thing, one more time or a combination! It can be painful to your ego and it can be humbling. Well that is exactly what we need to do; to be humble and to eliminate the EGO. It can hurt your bank account and it definitely teaches you lessons (if you are willing to learn), but the more things you try, the more things you will be able to do. The more things you can do the more successful you will be. 

I’m reminded of the little quote I was told when I was younger: “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” Let’s be excited to embark on new adventures and experiences without being scared of potential failures and without focusing on past mistakes and mishaps.

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